Funny thing about....

…funny things. I find a lot of things absolutely hilarious. I like people with good laughs. There's this guy Aaron on the cross team that laughs really loud and kind of high pitched and I think he might have been stifling it because I've only started to notice it since break. That, or he caught laughing disease back home, the most hilarious disease since kidney stones (not at all funny to experience firsthand, but I will never ever forget Austin Perry describing Mr. Sissen bent all the way over the overhead in the middle of class and yelling 'YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
before limping to the bathroom). I'm in a weird, kind of random mood I guess. I watched a bunch of Youtube videos yesterday when I was burned out from writing my cancer class paper. I saw this short one where a model falls on a runway. These guys on the evening news were talking about the clip and they couldn't stop laughing. But I couldn't either. This model carrying a watering can fell once, got back up, then fell again, but this time took like five seconds to fall, trying the whole time to balance in her ridiculous heels and wobbling on her tiny ankles until whooooaaaaa she fell. I was dying. Here it is if you're immature enough to want to see it.


Here's a list of things I think are funny, beginning with:

1. Falling. Oh goodness. Not all falling, like falling that looks really painful, but well-timed falls are awesome to me. Call me sophomoric (that would be a compliment actually, since I am indeed a freshman).
2. Jokes when you're not expecting them. My friend Mike reached halfway across the table at dinner the other night and very politely asked me, "Hey Joe could you toss my salad over here?" I was looking for a salad for ten seconds before I realized the joke. While that jackal Mike just giggled to himself in his chair "Yeah, just toss my salad over here for me." It was clever though.
3. Incongruous, random things. Like Kramer. Or the joke about the two sausages frying in the pan where one says to the other “boy, it’s really hot in here,” and the second one says, “holy crap! A talking sausage!”
4. Clever stuff. Like British clever.
5. Fake translations. Like they do on the daily show sometimes, where like a Chinese government official is talking about something and the voice over guy is saying something completely different. Or like in this klutz book I had when I was little it had helpful phrases in foreign languages and they were like “Where is the nearest American rapid food establishment?” (Waar is de meest nabij amerikaan snelle voedselonderneming?) Or “Excuse me madam, your weasel has just made sick in my shoe” (m'excuser la madame, votre belette a fait juste malade dans ma chaussure)

6. Dave Chappelle. I think he's great and I wish he would come out of hiding already. I guess there are a lot of people I think are funny, so he shouldn't get his own thing. Will Farrell is funny, so is my family. Austin P. (aforementioned), Will Sevege, Jason, Tina, gosh there are tons of people actually...

7. Funny laughs. Like baby laughs. Those make me giggle like crazy.

8. Funny insults. As long as their not too personal, and everyone knows it's a joke, and we don't make jokes about Jeremy's lazy eye for a half hour again, I think these can be funny.

Things that are not funny to me:

1. Clowns. Not funny, never will be. Even when I was a kid I think I was just like, “Yeah, okay, so you’re silly. Do you do anything else? It does get boring doesn’t it, being silly all the time?”

2. Knock-knock jokes. Unless they’re really really good (What?!?! You say, good knock knock jokes? Oh, there are GREAT ones. So great they haven't even been invented yet.), like the ones on Garrison Keillor. Delivery counts in these, too. I like ‘em rapid fire
boom-ba-boom-ba-boom.
3. Folding socks. I only say this because I have a bunch of socks fresh out of the drier, staring me in the face and waiting to be paired and folded. Not tonight, boys. I gots ta sleep.

4. Carlos Mencia. I just think he's lame.
5. People who think they're really funny. These people just make me not want to laugh.
6. Dead baby jokes. I dunno, most of them are just supposed to be gross, and I like stuff that's creative more than just stuff that conjures up nasty mental pictures.
7. "That's what SHE said!"
8. Pick up lines. It has got to be the awkwardest effing thing if anyone actually uses one of these. What do you say to a guy who just told you that a polar bear weighs enough to break the ice?