Funny thing about....

…funny things. I find a lot of things absolutely hilarious. I like people with good laughs. There's this guy Aaron on the cross team that laughs really loud and kind of high pitched and I think he might have been stifling it because I've only started to notice it since break. That, or he caught laughing disease back home, the most hilarious disease since kidney stones (not at all funny to experience firsthand, but I will never ever forget Austin Perry describing Mr. Sissen bent all the way over the overhead in the middle of class and yelling 'YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
before limping to the bathroom). I'm in a weird, kind of random mood I guess. I watched a bunch of Youtube videos yesterday when I was burned out from writing my cancer class paper. I saw this short one where a model falls on a runway. These guys on the evening news were talking about the clip and they couldn't stop laughing. But I couldn't either. This model carrying a watering can fell once, got back up, then fell again, but this time took like five seconds to fall, trying the whole time to balance in her ridiculous heels and wobbling on her tiny ankles until whooooaaaaa she fell. I was dying. Here it is if you're immature enough to want to see it.


Here's a list of things I think are funny, beginning with:

1. Falling. Oh goodness. Not all falling, like falling that looks really painful, but well-timed falls are awesome to me. Call me sophomoric (that would be a compliment actually, since I am indeed a freshman).
2. Jokes when you're not expecting them. My friend Mike reached halfway across the table at dinner the other night and very politely asked me, "Hey Joe could you toss my salad over here?" I was looking for a salad for ten seconds before I realized the joke. While that jackal Mike just giggled to himself in his chair "Yeah, just toss my salad over here for me." It was clever though.
3. Incongruous, random things. Like Kramer. Or the joke about the two sausages frying in the pan where one says to the other “boy, it’s really hot in here,” and the second one says, “holy crap! A talking sausage!”
4. Clever stuff. Like British clever.
5. Fake translations. Like they do on the daily show sometimes, where like a Chinese government official is talking about something and the voice over guy is saying something completely different. Or like in this klutz book I had when I was little it had helpful phrases in foreign languages and they were like “Where is the nearest American rapid food establishment?” (Waar is de meest nabij amerikaan snelle voedselonderneming?) Or “Excuse me madam, your weasel has just made sick in my shoe” (m'excuser la madame, votre belette a fait juste malade dans ma chaussure)

6. Dave Chappelle. I think he's great and I wish he would come out of hiding already. I guess there are a lot of people I think are funny, so he shouldn't get his own thing. Will Farrell is funny, so is my family. Austin P. (aforementioned), Will Sevege, Jason, Tina, gosh there are tons of people actually...

7. Funny laughs. Like baby laughs. Those make me giggle like crazy.

8. Funny insults. As long as their not too personal, and everyone knows it's a joke, and we don't make jokes about Jeremy's lazy eye for a half hour again, I think these can be funny.

Things that are not funny to me:

1. Clowns. Not funny, never will be. Even when I was a kid I think I was just like, “Yeah, okay, so you’re silly. Do you do anything else? It does get boring doesn’t it, being silly all the time?”

2. Knock-knock jokes. Unless they’re really really good (What?!?! You say, good knock knock jokes? Oh, there are GREAT ones. So great they haven't even been invented yet.), like the ones on Garrison Keillor. Delivery counts in these, too. I like ‘em rapid fire
boom-ba-boom-ba-boom.
3. Folding socks. I only say this because I have a bunch of socks fresh out of the drier, staring me in the face and waiting to be paired and folded. Not tonight, boys. I gots ta sleep.

4. Carlos Mencia. I just think he's lame.
5. People who think they're really funny. These people just make me not want to laugh.
6. Dead baby jokes. I dunno, most of them are just supposed to be gross, and I like stuff that's creative more than just stuff that conjures up nasty mental pictures.
7. "That's what SHE said!"
8. Pick up lines. It has got to be the awkwardest effing thing if anyone actually uses one of these. What do you say to a guy who just told you that a polar bear weighs enough to break the ice?

Photo Phun!

OH Golly! I've been having time lately to take pictures, which has been really cool. We had Thursday off (for Yom Kippur, duh!)

We discovered this trail going to a lake on a run last week. There was this really cool stage-like picnic shelter thing by the lake that was shaped like a wedge. There were geese all over the place and we called it Utopia because it seemed like that kind of place.

Lorain Street early in the morning. Foggy, pretty trees.

This is the observatory from the rooftop just outside of it. It still works, and it's cool and old-timey.

Feathers in the grass, all dewy and pretty

Here's a historical building on Professor Street by my dorm. It looks cool, I don't really know why it's special, but there's a plaque out in front of it.

This is just wheat. Thought it was cool.

Gibson's! A really neat little ice cream place that serves breakfast and has yummy candy too.

listen, blog,

Hi blog, it's me. Yeah, it's been a while. Not a whole week, like a school week maybe. Okay, but that's not that bad. You know how one day can turn into two days that can turn into a week....
Hey, blog, I didn't forget about you. I visited you every day, I meant to write in you, I just couldn't find the time, things have been crazy lately. I know. No- well yes- I have another blog, but that's a school blog. You're my blog, my own personal blog, my real blog. I know. yes. I swear. never again.
It has been a while. I really haven't been that busy either. Just sick and trying like mad to get better before I go home for Gen's wedding. It'll be fun to see Steve and Lil and Gilbert after so long and to meet the Dazets. And see my Tina! Dad's cool too. I guess I'm looking forward to the whole thing. I gotta practice singing that song so it sounds wicked good at Genny's wedding (people at Oberlin say 'wicked' a lot. And 'hella' which sounds kind of dumb to me). Should get with Liam, my pianist, this week (Liam is also my nickname for my penis, which is funny 'cause it rhymes!).
I was sobered reading my Cancer Biology textbook today. As you can imagine, it's not a particularly cheery kind of reading, but today's chapter (seven, in case you're following along at home) was especially dreary. In the early days of X-Ray research, apparently, Thomas Edison had a techician whom he used to take X-Ray pictures of hands. He used the same technician, since he had no idea the radiation could be harmful. The poor lab assistant got radiation burns on his hands after a while, and cancer in them not too long after. Despite having his arms amputated, he died of metastatic cancer not too long after. Armless for Pete's sake. Who the hell is Pete, who gets put on the same level as God? 'For God's sake' is the same as 'For Pete's sake,' but I would be much more willing to do something for God than some guy named Pete, for the love of God/Pete.
Madam Curie died in a similar fashion, of leukemia after years of working with radioactive chemicals, as did her scientist daughter. Ouch. Similar radioactive materials are also found in cigarettes. Radon is in fertilizers they use to grow tobacco, and both radon and polonium are found in cigarette smoke (and in high concentrations in smokers' lungs). Smoking a pack a day for a year will subject you to 3000 times more cancer causing radiation than living next door to a nuclear power plant for a year, about 500 times more than getting a chest x-ray. Now I know that, even if this was well publicized and explained in a few Truth commercials, it wouldn't do a thing as far as getting people to quit smoking, but the fact that the government knows about all of this and has for decades now is a bit vexing for me. As soon as asbestos was linked to lung and chest cavity cancer, the US and affluent countries around the world banned it and actively excised all traces of it from their homes and public buildings. Asbestos isn't mined anymore, and asbestos products aren't produced. It only exists in third world countries where they need schools and hospitals and can't afford to tear down the walls and build new ones. Tobacco companies add things (fertilizer to grow tobacco, chemicals for taste and addictivity) to tobacco, and many of these cause emphysema and lung cancer, but really the only thing the government has done is put a warning label and a higher price on cigarettes. I think that kind of sucks. You can't even do anything with cigarettes, like build a house. You just burn them and suck on them. I wish they would just tell the people who make cigarettes to make them a little less harmful, but it's such a moneymaker that they won't even do that. I suppose I could try to do something about it, but then I would have to go into politics, which gives me the willies.

I was saddened to learn about how the economy has hit the All-American town of Springsteenville via the Onion this weekend. I think it's a little funny that the working class people who enjoy and are celebrated in Bruce's songs nicknamed him 'The Boss,' since I picture these same people spending a lot of time badmouthing the management. That really says something about-something. Damned if I know what.
It's been a really pretty weekend in Oberlin. It was chilly Thursday and Friday after some rain, but yesterday was around 70 and today was like 65 and sunny. Some small trees are turning already, and I think fall is going to be beautiful here. Nothing like Stewart road in the middle of October, but luckily I'll be able to enjoy that this year, too! Apparently one of the trees in Tappan Square was injured during the week (below), though how this happened is still a matter of speculation.





I'm feeling sick, which means... I'm human. Which sucks. Makes me feel like I'm a part of something though, which doesn't suck. I guess college is teeming with germs and stuff, I just never suspected putting my mouth directly on the water fountain and sneezing on the sleeve of whoever is closest would be anything but hygienic. hehe Genny put her mouth on a water fountain and got sick once.

Now, I'm no critic. I don't particularly enjoy critics. I like silly movies with little substance and catchy music with little meaning. It's just the way I am. Having said that, I saw Burn After Reading last night and came away really unsatisfied. I feel like the people who liked it just saw that there were stars in it and figured it had to be good. Of the many stars the film boasted, John Malkovich was good, and played a very convincing angry old man. On the other hand, George Clooney was kind of clowny, and had this weird, wide-eyed look that felt like mugging every time something was supposed to be funny. Disappointing, Dr. Ross. In describing the film to other people, a friend of mine reported that Brad Pitt was "phenomenal... Oh my gaaa...." faded out and made a searching gesture. I reported that Brad Pitt was "eh..." and made a noncommittal gesture. I never once during that movie forgot that he was Brad Pitt pretending to be an employee for Hardbodies Fitness Club. He just didn't do it for me. The ending left me wanting more, but more like the way the lame ending for The Golden Compass made me want more than the cool ending of the first two Lord of the Rings made me want more. Like, "You really should have made more movie, I want more so I won't feel so cheated," not "I want another one of these movies! Garsh that was swell!" I made that disclaimer about critics because I usually don't have a lot of negative things to say about movies, music, etc., and lately I have (see earlier post about Steve Martin) . I don't want to be a critic. I really want to be original and I don't think they are at all. Unless you're talking about the late-night animated show The Critic featuring Jon Lovitz which I stayed up way past my bedtime to watch sometime in the 90's.